witchgays:

virpiablccdnerd:

witchgays:

eternally-eating:

witchgays:

slides in with roombas strapped to both my feet: sup heteros

Theory: great

Reality: they both take off in different directions, fuck

homophobia never sleeps

you have to have rope at a length of like 1 to 2 feet. or maybe a steel bar. something. that connects the roombas and keeps them at an appropriate distance.

finally a good suggestion. roomba bondage

vampireapologist:

My friends and I often discuss what we’d do if we suddenly became disgusting rich, and the usual stuff is that we’d use our money to fix some human rights issues we’ve been following and to help our loved ones etc. and then generally live a modest life but in a nice house so

I’ve started making my friends also choose one ridiculous thing they’d want to have if they were like absolutely bonkers rich. One of those rich people things that would be reported about in tabloids and it would be so superfluous it would nauseate the masses.

Personally I’d have someone wash my hair and choose my outfit every morning. I truly think the height of luxury is having someone to do ur hair and makeup. My friend would have an owlery.

What would your nauseatingly rich indulgence be

professionalpeachhunk:

scrims:

intrepids-stuff:

havahnagilah:

asexual: [reading war and peace]
me, wearing only a g-string and a see-through chainmail bra: [smacks war and peace out of their hands] go watch some porn you geek ass bitch

Me, an asexual [and not-so-closeted rabid bibliophile]: What did you just do to my 131 year old piece of classic Russian literature, you pretentious under-dressed swine? No. Never mind. We both know what you did. Now pick up the book and return it to me nicely or else the only people who’ll be having sex with you will be the grave-robbing necrophiliacs who were only lucky enough to find your body.

goddamn

Is this an open or closed role play?

thurisazsalail:

taahko:

taahko:

last night one of my campers was like “well i lost one of my shoes in the swamp today” and i said “oh no!” and she shrugged and said “its ok. shoes are just objects” and damn. they really are

today a completely different camper with scratches all over her legs was like “every step hurts me” and i was like “oh that sucks!” and she shrugged and said “well, you know, pain is a temporary emotion”

the next gen have achieved either peak buddhism or peak nihilism

paulblofish:

chaserpercy:

badpjoideas:

Apollo retells the entire pjo series in haikus

1. a boy named percy:
he’s half sea and half dumb luck;
the villain is luke.

2. satyr wedding time
while stealing clarisse’s quest-
now thalia’s back?!

3. annabeth falls off
a cliff; they save artemis-
alas, not zoe

4. luke is kronos and
rachel elizabeth dare
sees the shifting maze

5. the end of the world
comes faster than they expect-
a choice ends his days.

1. Three half-bloods to camp
Jason, Leo, and piper;
Hera made the switch

2. Find the god of death -
The son of water will drown.
The Greeks are coming.

3. The adventure starts
To rescue the son of hell.
Athena has been found.

4. They fall together
The house of Hades must end
Time is running out.

5. Greeks and Romans fight -
Three will take back the statue.
Nosebleeds end it all.